Insanity
by SpoiledMilk
Summary: It's a disease that has infected them both
1. Chapter 1

The bodyguard strides carefully through the somewhat peaceful streets of Ikebukuro. A cigarette dangles dangerously from his lips, vapor trickling from his mouth in a flickering stream. Shizuo's mind was fairly blank; his body moving simply out of habit. He leaned against the side of a small grocery store, bored and restless. _I wonder where the flea is._ He mentally slapped himself. He was not going to go there. Tom was out of town on business and he was NOT going to spend his free time thinking about that louse. This train of thought soon crashed mercilessly into a building, as an all to familiar voice rang through the busy streets of Ikebukuro.

"Shizu-chaaaaan!~" Shizuo grimaced at the overused nickname. _It's as if he doesn't know my real name._ By this time the streets had already cleared. Even the newest idiot tourists had some sort of survival instinct. Shizuo let the cigarette fall from his lips before grinding it out with his shoe.

"Shizu-chan don't ignore meeee!~" Shizuo had yet to turn towards the shrill voice that echoed throughout the now empty streets. He gritted his teeth and began to growl slightly, involuntarily.

"IIIIZAYAAAA!" Shizuo snarled, whipping around to face his adversary. Izaya was standing a mere three feet from him, a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Well hello Shizu-chan! Good to know that protozoan brain of yours is still working."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of Ikebukuro?!" Shizuo grabbed the innocent stop sign next to him, crushing its pole with his fist.

"Well if I did that, I would get to see my precious Shizu-chan, now would I?" Izaya purred, twisting his black skinny jean clad hips before whipping out his switchblade from his pocket.

"GAHHHHH!" And so their usual game began. Feet scraped pavement, blood pulsed, and flesh was bruised as the two played cat and mouse throughout the streets.

Shizuo had lost his sign ages ago, and his breathing was harsh and labored from the exercise. Cuts adorned his face and limbs in an almost decorative pattern, and they glistened slightly in the dim light of the ally. Izaya on the other hand, looked identical to how he did that morning, except for the fact that his switchblade was no longer resting in his slender fingers. They were both in the dead end of an ally, in a stand off. Red eyes darted for an escape, for any possible way out. He made a desperate attempt to get around Shizuo, darting to his left and ducking under his outstretched hand. But, just this once, he wasn't fast enough. Shizuo whipped is hand back and grabbed the hood of Izaya's signature parka, yanking him back and against a wall. Izaya flailed, surprised by the pain in his shoulders and neck, where the parka strained against his body. His head smacked painfully into the wall, and he grimaced lightly.

"I finally…got you." Shizuo panted, eyes wide as the realization sank in. He tightened the fist that was holding Izaya against the wall.

"I got you!" He was now grinning wildly, a cut in his mouth opening slightly, a thin stream of blood trickling down his chin.

"Hmmm… I guess you have Shizu-chan." Izaya managed, his throat bruising at Shizuo's rough touch, but still maintaining a smirk.

"But what are you going to do now?" Izaya mused, leaning closer to the brute's face.

"I'm going to kill you!" Shizuo barked, shoving Izaya roughly back against the wall.

"Okay Shizu-chan, do it." Izaya was not afraid of death, or anything as trivial. Izaya Orihara was a god. Whatever came after, he would be a god there as well. He closed his eyes, relaxing against Shizuo, ready for the blow. Shizuo brought his spare fist back and….

…He couldn't do it.

He reared back again, his fist trembling with anger and frustration. _Why can't I hit him?!_ Izaya was slumped against the wall, not struggling, just waiting. Shizuo couldn't take it. He couldn't just hit the flea! It wasn't fair! Right? Right. That's why.

_ Just get it over with already!_ Izaya was growing impatient. How long does it take to throw a punch or two? That's all it would take to kill him, what with Shizuo's brute-like strength. He felt the hand at his collar relax slightly, and Izaya peaked with one eye at the scene unfolding before him. Shizuo relaxed his iron grip completely, letting Izaya slide to the ground in a heap, the brick walls scratching his dirtied hands. He looked up just in time to see Shizuo's face, plastered in an expression of terror, sadness, and…. confusion. It was totally different from the gruff scowl that was etched into his features moments before. His bleached hair hung over his eyes and he began to walk away. His steps were halting, the footsteps on the pavement uneven and laced with indecision. Izaya remained where he was, frozen in confusion and utter shock. He half expected Shizuo to grab a vending machine and hurl it at him, but he didn't. Shizuo slowly exited the ally, and disappeared from sight, an aura of confusion still hanging over his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Shizuo had no idea what he was doing. He was in a slight daze, fresh cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth. His hands were balled into fists in the pockets of his navy slacks, and his glasses were nowhere to be seen, probably discarded sometime during the chase. _The chase_….

"DAMMIT" He stopped in his tracks, cursing and forcing many bystanders to hastily move away. _What the hell was I thinking?! I could have murdered that asshole easily… He was right there… But why?_ Why couldn't he do it? Izaya had been all he had thought about lately. The stupid flea and that idiotic smirk, playing with everyone's emotions, messing with peoples lives. He would be doing the world a favor by wiping his sorry ass of planet earth…right? Fuck… he was thinking too hard about this. He should just go back and finish what he started. _I won't hesitate this time. _

Izaya was numb. He was in utter shock. That stupid protozoan is just too… unpredictable. He was fully prepared to die in that moment, fully prepared to leave this world, a world covered in his beloved humans. But Shizuo…. He… He was the one person Izaya didn't understand. He was the one man that confused the hell out of him. One day he would be beating a man within an inch of his life for 'looking at him the wrong way' or 'pissing him off', and the next, he would be taking in a stray cat while it's pouring down rain. How was Izaya supposed to handle that? Shizuo could not be categorized into one of his typical groups, as every other boring resident of this city could. Shizuo had his own category… _Monster_. Izaya rested his chin on his knee, feeling the cold seeping through his clothes from the earth, biting back a small smile. _I guess that's why I-_

BANG! Izaya's thoughts were cut short by a clang at the mouth of the ally. _Shizuo?_ He thought, jolting upward despite the angry protest of his limbs. He leaned weakly against the wall, his battered body refusing his commands. He strained his neck towards the source of the noise, narrowing his eyes.

..._Shit…._


	3. Chapter 3

At this point Shizuo was in sight of the ally he had exited several minutes before. He grimaced, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. _He probably left by now… that sneaky bastard. _God, that man annoyed him. He couldn't even explain it. Izaya Orihara… Even the name put him on edge. With that stretched, seething grin that never quite reached his eyes. And those _eyes. _Those blood red orbs that you could just feel judging you. It was like he was seeing right through you, looking only at your flaws and imperfections, anything he could use to his advantage. It actually _scared _Shizuo sometimes, although he would never admit that. It scared him to think that someone who he hated so much could know so much about him. It scared him to think that someone who he could never seem to land a punch on, could hurt him so badly with just a few precisely aimed words. It scared him to think that someone could make him lose control and play the whole thing off like a screwed up game.

Shizuo shuddered, chills racing down his spine as rain began to fall. It spattered; dancing in his vision and making the suit he wore cling to his muscled frame. He was almost there. Faint, angered, laughter could be heard, leaking from the ally he aimed for. It wasn't Izaya's laughter, not quite as maniacal as it should have been. It was gruffer, more like a bark than a real laugh. Shizuo scowled. He really didn't want to have to deal with other people at the moment. He just wanted to wring Izaya's neck and be done with it. _Goddamn flea… he deserves-_

Shizuo rounded the corner into the ally, immediately spotting the source of the harsh laughter. Several burly men armed with baseball bats and metal pipes, were huddled around a small figure, attacking it brutally. Each blow created a dull thump that reverberated throughout the tight ally, over and over. One man was slumped against the wall, unmoving. A small switchblade was protruding from the man's chest, and a stain of red surrounded the hilt. _Switchblade. _That was Izaya's switchblade. The figure… The small, frail body… It couldn't be…

No.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes in disgust. How _dare_ they. Those revolting dogs. How dare they touch his informant. Iazya was _his, his_ to destroy, _his _to own. Shizuo snarled, fists balling the material of his slacks. A feral grin cut open his face as he took a step forward, gaining the attention of the preoccupied men.

"Hey!" The man barked, pointing his weapon of choice, a pipe, at the approaching figure.

"I'd get the hell out of here, if you know what I mean." He continued. At this point the other gang members had turned to face their opponent as well, lopsided grins flickering on each of their faces.

"You piss. Me. Off." Shizuo growled. It was true. Everything about them, their bruised faces, rotted teeth, stained sweatshirts, and sagging jeans made him want to vomit. Shizuo glanced at the body on the concrete. A head of glassy raven hair poked out from behind a foot. This just seemed to aggravate the blond further. His strides widened, and a dark look radiated from him. One of the taunting men, recoiled a step, a pierced eyebrow rising in sudden realization.

"Shit, guys, isn't that-" He was cut off by a sharp blow to his jaw. He slammed back into the opposing wall, where he slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"Hewijima Shizuo." Another breathed, stumbling backwards and letting the meager weapon he held slip through his fingers. The clang echoed painfully against the ally walls, shattering the short-lived silence.

"The one and only." Shizuo sneered through gritted teeth. They didn't stand a chance. He was going to beat their sorry asses to a pulp. He wouldn't forgive them. He _couldn't _forgive them. Not after what they did. After all, he hated violence.


	4. Chapter 4

Pain. Pain everywhere, its dull throbbing making up his entire being. Izaya groaned from the sheer weight of it. Those gangsters had only just begun their beating, so his injuries were minor at most. But that didn't mean it didn't _hurt._ He slowly sat up, ignoring the angry pangs of protest from his limbs. A small trickle of blood fell from his nose, and he wiped at it with the back of his hand.

"Ugh." He mumbled. Wait…. Where are they? It's not like those guys to leave their prey alive. _I didn't scare them _that_ bad did I?_ Izaya thought, glancing at the single man he had dispatched with a knife to the chest. He chuckled, if that lancing blow to the head hadn't caught him off guard, he could have easily killed them all off. He mentally berated himself for such a careless mistake. That's when he heard it. Mangled cries and desperate screams of men, the type that could only be caused by one person.

"Shizu-chan…?" Izaya whispered, turning to look at the scene before him. The blonde was furious. Izaya could already see a victim of the bartenders slumped up against the wall unconscious. Izaya couldn't help but smirk. These clumsy brutes didn't stand a chance against Shizuo. Shizuo was a god. A beautiful, strong, and dangerous god. Izaya grinned wider as another man was sent spiraling from the ally and into oncoming traffic. Only one man remained. He stood trembling as Shizuo glared, his gaze burning holes in the lone man's shriveled bravery. The steel wrench he had been holding clattered unceremoniously to the ground. The pained screech of metal on pavement rebounding throughout the ally. Izaya shrank away from the sound, muscles tensing as he prepared to bolt.

Soon enough the last man was unconscious, or dead, crumpled against a large appliance. The only sound that pierced the cool silence was Shizuo's harsh breathing. His belated gasps grew steadily nearer as Izaya relaxed into the ground. He had no escape route, and even if he did, he was in no condition to move easily. His only plan was to play dead and hope the idiotic brute wouldn't think to check his pulse, or notice the painfully shallows breathes he took.

Izaay felt the faint vibrations of footsteps near his head, accompanied by the crunch of dirt against pavement. He fought the overpowering urge to jerk back, away from the opposing figure. Izaya felt the man crouch over him, and warm breath wash over the skin on his nose. _Go away go away go away GO AWAY! _The mantra replayed in his head over and over, a desperate song inside desperate thoughts.

He was a mouse caught in a trap. Struggling, helpless, staring into the narrowed eyes of a cat. Sure, he had been confident with his death previously, even asking for it, but… He had been in control. He had been the ringmaster, controlling the chaos that was his circus. Now he was reduced to a helpless rodent underneath his predator. He lost control. He was defeated. He was _scared._

Izaya felt two hands grasp his shoulders and squeeze, painfully.

"Izaya…" A voice growled. Izaya almost flinched at the sound of it. It wasn't angry, or exasperated, or frustrated… It was… _Sad? _

The hands tightened around him.

"Izaya!" Shizuo barked, pulling Izaya's limp torso towards himself. _He knows. Oh, god, he knows._ Izaya was frantic, but forced his body relax, painting his features with a peaceful expression. _Stay in CONTROL. _

"DAMMIT IZAYA." Izaya held his breathe. His heart seemed to crawl from his chest, screaming that he was alive.

"N-no. No. No!" Shizo hissed. Shizuo's voice warbled and threatened to crack, it was hollow. He gently lowered Izaya back to the pavement, his previously firm hands trembling against him.

….._Shizu-chan?_ It hadn't… worked had it? He had expected a fist to smash through his skull, a guttural shout of rage, he had expected to be killed. But here he was, and the hands he had only seen in fists were on him. They were caressing his face, tracing his eyes, running over his lips, brushing hair from his forehead. He could only describe them with a word he had never associated with the bodyguard. _Gentle._


	5. Chapter 5

Izaya felt his fear melt into the touches, swept away by trembling fingers. He had never been touched like this. Not by family. Not by friends… if he had any. There was something behind these touches. Something compelling. Something irresistible. He wanted it.

He felt his sense of control slipping from his twitching fingers. _Stay still… stay… still…! _Horrified, he felt his own hand drift upwards. Higher…Higher…. Crimson eyes snapped open as his hand brushed Shizuo's jaw. White hot fire burst through him from the contact, coursing through his veins as if his blood was boiling. Shizuo froze, coffee eyes locking onto crimson ones, and the hand by his face softly smudged away the moisture on his cheeks.

Hours seemed to pass, with neither man moving. Both seemed shocked at their own actions, and both were frozen in place.

"Izaya…" Shizuo choked. The desperate voice sent spears of reality back into the infromant. He ripped his disobedient hand away and scrambled backwards, pressing himself firmly against an opposing wall. Confusion and frustration clouded his vision. What just happened?_ What was he thinking?!_

Shizuo flinched at Izaya's sudden movement, before following suit and pulling away. There he was. The great Izaya Orhihara. Alive. Breathing. Blinking. Shizuo had been sure that… Izaya had… that he had… The blonde hung his head. What was he doing? _What was he thinking?!_

Izaya felt the familiar pull of a smirk at the corners of his mouth. But something else pulled as well, something different. It tightened his chest and made it hard to breathe, like a chord tied around his torso. He brushed it off and grinned.

"Hahaaa! Oh Shizu-chan, it's almost as if you care about me!~" The raven purred, ignoring the shocking pain in his side and waltzing around the bodyguard. He was determined not to let his injuries derail his teasing.

"So what." The blonde coughed. The informant's step faltered.

"Eh?"

The bodyguard stood with an air of anger and discomfort. Hands fisted his pockets and bleached hair swung limp over his eyes.

"So what if I care about you?!" Shizuo whipped around to glare at the informant, who stood rooted to the ground, frozen.

"You're the only person who can handle me. You don't even bat a fucking eyelash when I get pissed! Of course I would care if you died!"

Shizuo looked almost taken aback by his own words, and pulled his gaze back to the pavement. A short-lived silence breathed in the small space.

"You aren't _afraid_ of me." He sniffed, clenching his fists tighter in his pockets.

Izayas grin slipped downward and vanished. His eyes grew wide, ruby irises flicking over the blonde. _Shizu-chan… cares? Ha…haha no… no one… _

Izaya's eyes hardened again, and he forced his mouth to curve into a grin. His previously teasing look was replaced with an icy glare, and his smile was artificial and forced.

"Oh, Shizu-chan! Who are you trying to fool? We both know monsters can't really _feel_. You can't care about anyone!" At that, Izaya began to laugh. The sheer hilarity of the situation astounded him. _Shizuo? Caring? About him? _Impossible. Shizuo is a monster! His worst enemy. Shizuo was-

"Maybe you're right." Shizuo threw his head up, still refusing to look at Izaya. There was a small slice of clouded sky above them, and he stared at it intensely.

"I've hurt everything I've ever cared about. Maybe I should just…" Izaya's facade faltered, and his mask slipped away. The chord around his chest tightened again, cutting off his spouting laughter. It choked him.

"Maybe I should just stop." The blonde let his head forward again, and hair hid his expression from Izaya.

"Shizu-chan…?" Izaya whispered, fear skirting over his features. Where was the anger? Where were the screaming and the heavy thrown objects? What was happening?

"No. I'm done." Shizuo growled, twisting his head towards the street.

"Do whatever you want. I don't fucking care anymore." Footsteps rebounded around the ally as he retreated from the ally. Each one seemed to tighten the band around his chest. Like a snake that had wrapped itself around the raven, the more he tried to escape the tighter it became. He couldn't _breathe._ No, no, no, no….

"No…." Izaya ripped at his invisible restraints and darted forward. The blonde didn't even seem to notice the desperate man behind him. He continued to move farther and farther away…

"No!" Izaya cried, the sound ripping itself from his pained chest. Shizuo faltered, just a bit this time, and Izaya lurched forward. He grabbed at the mans sleeve and balled the damp fabric in his fist.

_What the hell was he doing?_ He had lost all control. He couldn't do anything, he couldn't even control himself. The thought finally occurred to him. He had gone insane. All of his rationality had disappeared. All of his control had died. Izaya Orihara had finally lost his mind.

Shizuo jerked at the tug on his arm and stilled, standing ridged.

"What do you _want_?" Shizuo whipped around, ripping Izaya's hand from him. He fisted the collar of Izaya's parka and pinned him against the ally wall. The raven cringed as his head smacked against the wall and his neck snapped forwards. The metallic flavor of blood danced on the tip of the raven's tongue and he bit the inside of his cheek, intensifying the taste. Shizuo was seething, almost vibrating with uncontrolled rage. The informant looked through the overhang of his bangs, upwards at the furious brute.

"What do _I _want?" Izaya feigned innocence and smiled a grin that sharply contradicted his words.

The raven tangled his fingers into the blonde's hair, grappling painfully with soft bleached locks. The raven pulled at him… closer… closer….

Soft lips collided with callused ones in an explosive second. The chord around Izaya seemed to snap at that second, burned away by the untamed heat and fire inside his chest.

Izaya let the insanity take control. It was the insanity moving his limbs, it ignited the fire, it set him free from his constraints. It set his heartbeat at an incredible pace and painted his cheeks a new color of red.

It took three whole seconds for the insanity to leak from Izaya's open mouth and into Shizuo. It traveled through his body, a drug that even Shizuo was not immune to.

The blonde's grip relaxed on Izaya's collar and he wrapped an arm around his waist. The insanity pressed them together, against the wall, and against each other.

Legs intertwined and tangled, the raven's arms pulling the pair closer and closer still. It was the insanity that turned forceful kisses to desperate and frantic grappling.

The blonde dipped down and nipped Izaya's lower lip, before burying his face in the crook of the raven's neck. The raven's eyes were lidded and his cheeks we flushed, lips red and swollen rom the abuse. Shizuo was in no better condition. His clothes remained frayed and wrinkled, disheveled on his muscled frame.

"I care about you."

It was a never ending, unfed, and uncontrollable insanity that had infected them both. A disease that couldn't be cured or treated; only given into.

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**Thanks for reading! i really hope you enjoyed this little story- sorry for taking so long! umm, review would be cool, i like reviews. OH, OKAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEA :D THIS IS FOR YOU. **


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